Sunday, March 27, 2011

I WAS IN RADIUS OF THE BACKSTREET BOYS

One day I will sit my grandchildren down and tell them the story about how in one weekend - my dreams came true. 

For one thing, 'sup bitches - the last WEEK has been slapstick comedy. 

FRIDAY: 
So I was in Hoi An - with a delayed flight that should've been back in Hanoi by lunchtime - but got me back at 8PM instead. 
Ashton was heading to a martini night at this hotel, so I was just gonna go home, dress up and join her.

At the airport carousel, collecting luggage and I get this:


LET IT BE KNOWN I SQUEALED INWARDLY and also hated her. 
Ashton was about to lay her saliva on the ground the Backstreet Boys would walk on, the bottoms of their shoes ready to lick it all up - and I could not join in. 

I grabbed my luggage, got in a cab and listened to some crap Top 40 to make my own party in my head.
Yeah, didn't happen.
 
But then Ashton rang and said they'd done the red carpet - everything was done and that she'd come get me. 

SHE WAS THISCLOSE TO EVERYBODY.

So our martini night was at the bottom, whilst their VIP party was at the hotel rooftop. 


Security was blankets thick, but after indulging in our own event's luxuries, decided we were ballsy enough to play security. 

E-Z-Y.



Anh-Tuan, the rooftop bar manager, walked us in the lift and led us to the 19th floor up to the bar
HELLYEAH!!
We'd been there for an event the week before so at least layout was familiar and we didn't look too out of place. 
Ashton's unfortunate acquaintance, Long (who she's ashamed to be associated with) apparently followed us up too, and stood beside us. 

AND THEN MY LIFE FLASHED BEFORE MY EYES, and this long line of chicks pass and Ashton was like 'THERE'S HOWIE D!" and we both turned and seriously? 
The wind passed my stomach through my throat and I could barely catch a damn BREATH.
Howie D is RIGHT THERE. 
Like look-at-your-fist-and-smash-it-in-your-FACE RIGHT THERE! 
That's where Howie D was!

And I did nothing. Got scared.

I would say that was the most unfortunate part of the evening, but no.
Long grabs Howie D.
Long stares at him solemnly. 
"If you need help pumping up, give me a call!" he barks and shoves him a business card. 

The World reacts:



Howie D looks like this:


"Okay great! Thanks, man!"

Long backwardly spent the rest of the night with one line of dialogue to me: 
"That was your favourite Backstreet Boy?! I totally gave you an opening - I can't believe you didn't take it!"

Fork your throat, Long.

SATURDAY: Concert Day!

Woke up, went to church and came home to rest. 
At 3PM, we realised that the tour's name was 'THIS IS US' and we didn't even know a single song off the album.
So we downloaded it on iTunes and played it on repeat for 2 hours.

Ate Eggs Benedict for dinner at Puku's.

Get to concert: BITCHIN'
The place was frighteneningly packed with volunteers in yellow shirts EVERYWHERE. 
Apparently the stage setup went that volunteers that weren't on shift would mosh, and then vip seating, then us, then general seating, then STADIUM.
The place was frighteningly packed - but our seats were sick, as was our view. 

EXCEPT ...
Many poor concert-goers are short.
And to compensate, they decided to stand up on their chairs and block my view.
We yelled at them.
Then losers from the back just left their seats, jam through and in front of our rows, and climb these seats again - completely ignorant little jackals.
I saw no Backstreet Boys
I saw butt crack.

Dialogue between myself, and person in front who didn't even belong there:

ME: Excuse you, GET OFF THE SEAT, we can't see!
HIM: Is this your seat?
ME: No, but we can't see!
HIM: Well, F&*^ off! Is this your seat?
ME: Get off we can't even see! Where did you even come from?
HIM: If this is not your seat, shut the f&$# up!
ME: [It doesn't matter what I said. I said it passionately]

I pondered whether it was worth getting kicked out of the concert in the first 4 minutes.
The guy sized me up. His girlfriend looked frightened.

ASHTON: He's not even worth it!
ME: But I can't see ANYTHING!
ASHTON: Don't worry, you can stand in my place. It's okay, I'm tall, I can see anyway.


The sacrifices that friends make for each other ... :)

BUT my problems were that:
1) If I didn't egg this kid on, I couldn't provoke him and give him his cummupence. I don't fight, but I know how to be annoying and it was super convenient that he came bite-sized fiesty.
2) Ashton would have to make a sacrifice for such a little prick. WWJD.


BUT OVERALL IT WAS THE BOMB!
No opening act EXCEPT for this super sick DJ who took over the starts and in between sets.
THEN BSB: All the best songs were played and mixed around and we had so much fun dancing!
They danced hard to every song, the routines were cute and cheesy, they jumped all over the stage and through the crowd AND WE WERE TRANSPORTED BACK TO TWEEN-TOWN 1999.



CEMENTED GOAL: We must meet them.
Properly.

Sunday Morning:
Every single volunteer told us that Backstreet was at the Hilton.
We went early, got ourselves jasmine tea + pain au chocolat and pretended to be guests. 
The DJ from last night's set is just standing in the lobby!


 Our server approaches us, and we got the feeling she was gonna kick us out.

SERVER: Did you know the Backstreet Boys are staying in this hotel?
US: Uh ... no! Really? You're joking!
SERVER: Yes! They check out in 15 or 20 minutes. If you sit over there (points to elevators) you will get to meet them!

Result?


Nick and AJ extract from the lifts and walk right in front of us.
We chat. They are super nice. But they got rushed out to the airport ASAP, and we couldn't get a picture with A.J.
But that's okay.
And then we're told that Brian and Howie D had flown out home straight after the concert last night.
Oh well :)
Our adorable server, Nga, comes and just as excited as us - she checks excitedly over our own pictures and thinks it's awesome!

THEREFORE, THIS WEEKEND HAS BEEN A SUCCESS!

9 comments:

  1. אתה כלב קטן מזל שאני רוצה להיות אתה

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  2. THATS THE FUCKIN BOMB B BAYBEEEEE!

    smile a mile wide on my dial!

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  3. Nick is looking pretty bangable at the moment.

    ikd why, but A.J. always gives me hot dirty man vibes. I think it's the beard or something.

    Don't give a rat's ass about the other two. Or the smart one that quit the band and never returned.

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  4. thebestthebestthebest story EVAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! :0 :)
    i think u need to make a whole new power point about this boy band experience. take that, Maurice Ashton...you old crooney, you. Did you touch nick's booty? did you slightly graze his man-crotch? did he smell all rugged-like????? XO
    SOoooOOoo happy for you, LOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  5. Thanks for posting on my blog. I just HAD to come over and read about your experience! You're so lucky! Totally love how you guys downplay everything at the hotel. LOL!! I hope I have much luck when I attend their concert where I'm at this summer!

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  6. that pic at the top is fucking repulsive

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  7. Hi Catherine! Out of the blue, Ryan linked me to this blog and this post is so funny! Such a random bunch of times you get to experience over there, I didn't even know you lived in Vietnam how long have you been over there? Let me know what's happening, your voice is your writing and it feels like I'm there. Nick Carter is a hottie!

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  8. THIS IS EPIC AMAZINGNESS!!!!!!!

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